SORRY FOR LATENESS... I've had a lot going on these past weeks, mostly good things though =)
Something you hope you never have to do
I hope I never have to see someone I love die of unnatural causes again. I know that older relatives will only stick around for as long as life will let them, but even then I hope to have the longest time I can have with them. My Grandfather just turned 80 and he looks like he’s 60-something and has the physical stamina of a 50-year-old or younger. He bikes or walks 10 kilometers pretty much every single day, and goes to the gym we have in the basement of the apartment building (he and my Uncle from upstairs built it from all the nice devices they’d bought from television shopping networks). Physically, my Grandpa is made of steel. But time is taking its told on some of his senses already. It would be lovely if he would still be around to see my or my sister’s children when the time comes… Fingers crossed for another fifteen or so years. I love him so much.
I would hope to avoid near-death situations with my loved ones too. There have been too many accidents or attempted suicides or diseases. My fear for losing people is just so big I’m scared of the fear itself. I have lost people in my life, lots of them, though most of them haven’t been through death. I don’t know which is worse, though — being abandoned or forgotten, or losing someone because their life has come to an end, or just drifting away from someone you cared very dearly for.
I have let my grasp wear too weak on many of my closer and less close and hope-to-be close friendships. I’ve always had my reasons and excuses, sometimes valid sometimes not. Sometimes life has just been too much for me to invite people in. I still find it very hard to open my doors to someone because I fear the fact they’ll go storming out and rip my doors off and then what do I do? I’m still building them again from the pieces they have been ripped into various times in my youth. If you’re wondering why the heck I’m talking about doors, I just loved the metaphor in the Disney & Pixar movie Monsters Inc. Closet doors don’t come with locks — but something can still come in and storm out. When it comes to our minds and memories, though, monsters don’t usually have the courtesy of screaming BOO.