Over the Rainbow

I've considered myself lucky to be living in the country I live in. I've considered it pretty open when it comes to the LGBT community, or as the government likes to call it, sexual minorities. Other times, though, I haven't considered myself too lucky. One of those times was being in high school where everyone was immature and surprisingly homophobic. Which is why I didn't come out until afterwards.

There's always the comparison of better and worse. I'd be worse off in a highly religious atmosphere where what I am would be considered an abomination or a sin or a crime or whatever else negative. But I would, indeed, be better off in a country (or state of a country) where I was allowed to marry the one I love, and that our marriage would be reckognized as one equal to one between a man and a woman.

About a month ago, a local Finnish newspaper released an article on long distance relationships, which just happened to be about me and my girlfriend. A friend of a friend was writing the article and found out about us through a mutual friend and asked if she could interview us. Living miles and miles away from each other, we were still able to be interviewed at the same time via Facebook chat (which, though very glitchy, I'm thankful for at this point). I had my doubts the moment I was contacted by the person writing the article because, well, there are people who love to hate people like me and go to several lengths with it and it had me a little frightened.  

I spoke with my girlfriend about it and she seemed very excited, as was I despite my singular doubts, so we agreed to do the interview. Part of me was overjoyed to be getting at the homophobic nerves of some petty small-minded individuals who inhabit my town. 

Surprisingly, we received only a few hateful comment, and some positive ones as well. And I'm pretty happy with that. My parents' co-workers would go tell them they'd read the article and were proud of me being so brave. I made a friend's mother scream in the morning when seeing my picture in the paper...

So all in all, it was a positive experience. And something to tell the grandkids about. When the time comes. Ha.

NOTE ON TRANSLATION: Some things will sound weird and goofy since it's difficult to translate so that it stays, information-wise, the same. So bear with me! =)

Taken from the Finnish newspaper Keskisuomalainen, and then translated by me.

Love across the ocean

Finnish-American couple Liisi Heiskanen, 18, and Elizabeth Withers, 25, met each other online via Yahoo's chat program. Liisi and Elizabeth spoke together for the first time on November 13th 2010, a day which they refer to as their anniversary.

 - I just clicked her name and said hello, Liisi reminisces.

Neither of the two can define from when on it could be said that they were together. According to Elizabeth it is natural that, due to the large distance, one is at first careful and not in a rush.

Visiting

Liisi traveled to see Elizabeth for the first time in last October. Elizabeth says she had been very excited, and that after all the preparations for the visit she could not wait for Liisi to arrive. She had, among other things, looked up grocery stores fitting to Liisi's vegan lifestyle.

While waiting for Liisi at the airport she was on the phone with her best friend.
 - I told her I wasn't nervous at all, she says
 - That was true, until I realized Liisi could be coming down the stairs any moment.

Both described their various feelings regarding the wait, but when they got to hug each other, all that was left was pure joy.

Doubts

Both Liisi's and Elizabeth's families have taken their long distance relationship quite well. In the beginning there was a slight fear that the two would cut all lines of communication to their families.

 - I let them know bit by bit, Liisi tells us.
 - My mother was worried I'd leave the family and never speak to anyone again. Or that Liz was a psycho killer or a terrorist. But with time my whole family warmed up to her and consider her a member of the family these days.

Liisi remembers the situation where she had told Elizabeth's age to her family. They didn't actually express their opinions, but it was obvious from their faces that it did matter.

Elizabeth's mother was also a little scared. She didn't care as much of the age difference, as she did of the distance between the two and the possibiity of Elizabeth moving to Finland.

 - She was worried she would never see me again, and that there would be nobody to take care of her should something happen, she says.
 - I had to assure her I wasn't moving anywhere. Nowadays she accepts Liisi.

There has also been some feedback from friends and acquaintances. Liisi thinks it funny that she has received most of her negative comments from online friends. Ones who know her in real life have merely been worried, and telling her that this relationship would only get her hurt. That one can't actually know the other.

Elizabeth says she has received both encouraging and suspicious and comments. Reasons for this were the distance and the fact both of the two were women. She doesn't, however, let it discourage her.

Pros and cons

The couple thinks there are both good and bad things in the distance between them. The biggest downside is the fact that the other isn't physically present, but both say that the distance adds to hope - hope that you will still be able to see and be with the other - and it adds to communication. Elizabeth brings up a situation where two people live under the same roof but are in no means communicating. Liisi and her cannot see each other, so talking is very important.
Liisi reminds us that a long distance relationship is mainly built on trust.
 - And it helps you get to know the other person better. When you just talk, your personality shines through. And that's what's most important.