Refresh
Render the unimaginably
Tender shift of
Balance—
Left-right step
03:15 in the AM,
It passes, and surely
I’m not awake
Make no mistake,
When the one meets
The nine—
The double number
Refreshes wounds
And though cold,
It soothes the
Erratic nerve-change
Intermittent in gear,
Last little speck of
Fear rising up
From the sheets
Evidence of the
More-or-less real
Affection that created
What it is to be me
Interchanging biologic
Scenery—
And sometimes I wish
I had left the womb
Early—
Gentle death by nature
No more numbers or
Double numbers, just
A clock
And a green-and-white
Nurse flock around
My Momma’s belly
And should the final
Push have choked me
On the cord tied
Around my neck—
I guess I could be
A cloud, weekly bound
To the rain
And on the First of
September I’d
Smile and cry
The name I never
Received—
From religion
In which I never
Believed,
My last moments
Merely scientific
Devotion—
Swift with emotion
As I left.
But of course,
Reality isn’t as
Gentle as clouds
Gassed from funeral
Fumes—
Silly tunes
They thought
I would like—
Bare-foot
And bare-mind in
The cot.
I’ll hit refresh
And throw the
Potatoes back in the
Pot—
Too hard for memory,
Too hard for my
Mouth—
And without a sound
I’ll return to what it
Is now, when somehow
I am of the living.
Phew... this is deep. Filled with real and raw emotions. Sad when someone thinks it may have been better if they had died at birth. This is so vivid and reminds me of the times I've had insomnia and clock watched half the night too.
ReplyDeleteA truly gripping read.
You succeeded in working the words in masterfully and making the reader (me) feel deeply. Intense, dark, AND strong writing.
ReplyDeleteWow- Lovely, profound... I especially like:
ReplyDeleteAnd should the final
Push have choked me
On the cord tied
Around my neck—
I guess I could be
A cloud, weekly bound
To the rain
Ohmigosh... I got lost entirely in your words. They wound their way through me until I forgot where I was, sitting here at a computer, mesmerized. Beautiful and soulful. I LOVE THIS PIECE!
ReplyDeleteOf the living indeed, I enjoyed your write.
ReplyDeleteA sad and sobering piece.
ReplyDeleteThanks guys =)
ReplyDeleteVery well formed and executed, filled with those 3 AM feelings that drift past while the clock keeps ticking. Deep layers of vivid imagery and meaning.
ReplyDeleteElizabeth
http://soulsmusic.wordpress.com/2012/09/02/unknowing-flight/
The thoughts that haunt one at night; how wonderfully you've captured and limned some here ... I keep going back over your dark, deep poem, marvelling at how seamlessly you've woven the wordle words ... very nice write.
ReplyDeletehttp://thepoet-tree-house.blogspot.ca/2012/09/last-scene.html
It was 03:12! :-)
ReplyDeleteThis was written with the wordle words? They were flawlessly inconspicuous and yet very descriptive. A great read!
ReplyDeleteA chain of evocative imagery
ReplyDeletewow...really hard emotions in this one....wicked flow throughout and each hit strikes hard...and makes me ache....
ReplyDeleteA very poignant poem - an original and sad but powerful perspective. k.
ReplyDeleteDeep and dark. Reads like a tempest, and then those potatoes bring me right back to earth.
ReplyDelete